The Haircut from Hell
posted September 19, 2004 by
A
few months ago I needed a haircut, but the place I normally go to
had a wait of over an hour, so I decided to go across the street
to a place called The Haircutters. Now in case you don't have the
pleasure of living near one of these fine establishments, let me
give you a general idea of what The Haircutters is all about. For
starters, they have the ugliest logo this side of the Asian Spice
Channel. But the eye sores don't end with a puke-green colored wording
on the side of each building....
The buildings themselves look reminiscent of something
you'd find in a Haitian ghetto. When I stepped inside, something immediately
struck me as odd: Two of the "stylists" were actually mildly
attractive. This may not seem that unusual, but The Haircutters makes
it company policy to hire the overweight, the elderly, the unskilled,
the uneducated, the English-as-a-Second-Language Student, but never the
mildly attractive. My point was thoroughly illustrated by the third stylist
in there. She was old, highly unattractive, and fairly overweight. Beyond
that, she had the most annoying voice I've ever heard. Oh, and she smelled
like rancid meat.
As I reluctantly sat in the old woman's chair, she asked
me what kind of haircut I wanted. After I told her what I wanted, she
condescendingly said "awwwwww....just like a real man". I gave
her a dirty look at which point she practically threw me over to the sink
for a shampoo, despite me telling her I didn't need one. As she was trying
to to rinse the shampoo out of my hair, she started talking to one of
the other girls who apparently wasn't supposed to be there. The elderly
fatass was clearly not a multitasker, because as she mindlessly chatted
with the the other haircutter, she dumped water down the back of my shirt.
Her incompetence did not end there; during the haircut she stepped on
my feet twice, stabbed me with the scissors once, and after it was all
over I discovered two things. One, she couldn't cut straight. Two, she
completely disregarded what I told her I wanted. I didn't ask her to fix
it, because I couldn't stand the scent of her anymore. She had the nerve
to hold her hand out for a tip while I was paying. I looked straight into
her eyes, took out my wallet.........and put it in my other pocket and
left. Never visit The Haircutters.
A
few months ago I needed a haircut, but the place I normally go to
had a wait of over an hour, so I decided to go across the street
to a place called The Haircutters. Now in case you don't have the
pleasure of living near one of these fine establishments, let me
give you a general idea of what The Haircutters is all about. For
starters, they have the ugliest logo this side of the Asian Spice
Channel. But the eye sores don't end with a puke-green colored wording
on the side of each building....
